Judul : Yoga Studio Carmel
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Yoga Studio Carmel
lizzo: when i fuck up it feels like the endof the world and it's not just because of me. i feel like i'm letting everybody down becauseeverything that i do is such high stakes. that doesn't mean that it doesn't feel thatway for everybody else. like a 16 year-old girl who socially fuckedup at a party and she's like "it's the end
Yoga Studio Carmel, of the world!" like, what do you do? and the only relief for feeling that is literallywatching time go by. and you're like "oh wait, i fucked up at 11o' clock, and now it's 11:20 so the world didn't end.
it didn't explode. jesus didn't come back, and i still have anotherchance!" hi, welcome to talking in circles, i'm lauraand today let's talk about my favorite topic - failure! so i want to make clear that by failure idon't mean, failing a test necessarily, i mean anything that knocks you on your ass,whether it was your fault or not, really. heartbreak, getting fired from a job, screwing up on a friendship, or embarrassing yourself and failing at a project, anything that reallyjust knocks the wind out of you and brings you to your knees and has you just face-plantin your bed and not want to get out of bed.
again ever. myke: like, as a stand-up comedian, i don'tget to practice. i have to practice in front of real people. every time it's like "yo is this gonna work? is this not gonna work?" but like if a jokebombs and doesn't work, people don't laugh, and that stings a little bit, but at the sametime, i know now that that joke doesn't work. or i need to go back and fix it. and like dave chappelle said like, the best comediansbomb the hardest - the ones who have learned the most from their mistakes.
and i think we're just really afraid to learnfrom our mistakes. things i think to be cautious of: first, pretendinglike it didn't happen. i think it's really a kneejerk response forsome people is to be like "no everything's fine! i feel great! everything's fine! nothing happened! i'm totally good with that breakup/i got fired/whateveri hated it anyway! forget it!" i've seen that strategy and i've found thatit never really works out that great because you can kinda try to smoosh down the painand it's gonna find a way to creep out.
carlo: everything really bad, or whatever shittymoments we had, or failure that we went through brought us where we are right now in thisexact moment - whatever small things or big things happened. so you can't really technically call it afailure. don't you feel like, whatever worst situationin your life happened, like if it presents itself again you're your strongest ever. right? so that's kind of good. so you back and are like fuck it, that wasan awesome learning experience.
lizzo: the only way you can have all thishindsight knowledge is when you get yourself out of the crazy zone. laura: right that's what i wanted to say. you gotta feel it first. like having perspective about it, i thinkis great, but you gotta like be able to like sit in it and be like "look, it didn't work! like, it's embarrassing! i'm embarrassed. i'm embarrassed that other people are seeingmy failure." i think it's really easy in your mind to belike "this is who i am now.
i just suck at stuff and nothing ever works out, and i'm not goodenough" and just this spiral that is just terrible and i know how terrible it is, believe me. you really have to be cautious of that - whateveryou have to do - talking to somebody, writing it down, just so you can be cognizant of thefact that it is happening, it is a spiral in your brain, and it's not real. your brain is telling you lies. this is not the end.
this is part of your whole story. novena: i mean i even think about when i was15 years old and i thought i knew everything. if i wrote everything, like - this is how iwant novena's life to be from a 15 year old mindset and it all went that way that wouldbe considered "a success" because i wanted it to go that way but that's a damn failure! you need to like, grow and so if everythinggoes the way you want it to go in your present mind that's not moving forward, you know? another important thing to remember is thatyou're not alone. everybody goes through some version of failure.
it's interesting because people don't reallyusually talk about it until they're a success story so it's really hard to keep in perspectivethat that was all part of the journey, and, you know, those people all got their ass kickedtoo probably. if they didnt... bless their heart. novena: when i'm on the other side of it,when i see someone fucking up or embarrassing themselves or whatever, it makes me like themmore. you know what i mean? like if you fell down the stairs or were justlike being really awkward or whatever, it's like, i don't know it's like endearing insome sort of way because - i think it's because i know that i could
be that too. and it's like oh there's another person andnow i feel like they're more vulnerable or something and i feel more connected to them. and then on the next step if you then shareit with people, like "omg i'm so embarrassed, i went through this da-da-da-da" if someoneshares that - i like that person! like, thank you, i think you're dope i wantto hang out with that person. they're cooler to me than someone who's like"i'm just so cool all the time" ya know. one good thing about failure is that it canget you unstuck. which is to say that sometimes there's a thingthat wasn't working anyway, but it has to
just like officially fail to make space inyour life for other stuff whether that's a relationship or a job or anything that's takingup a lot of your time and energy but really just needs to fail, even though it feels terrible,in order to catapult you into a different set of circumstances that are actually gonnabenefit you in the long run. tara: i have this yoga business essentiallyand i put a lot of energy into one aspect of this business for years. and i really thought i needed this part andi had all these people involved and it was horrible for me and it needed to fail andit wasn't failing and then i made it fail! i'm gonna do all these things to make thisthing fail.
so when the failure is happening, i feel like,thank god this failure is actually here. i can deal with it, i can feel the feelings,because it's been horrible for so long. laura: you're waiting for tara: almost for the bomb to drop laura: i see. oh that's interesting. tara: i needed to fail it, in order to, youknow, rise in a way. so what's really important is just rememberingthat failure and heartbreak are just part of being human.
and going through a failure doesn't mean thatyou're weak. the fact that you put yourself in a positionto fail at anything, probably means you've got some balls! and you're actually strong. and it's all about how you pick up the piecesand try to put things back together and go forward from there because now you've gotmore wisdom and perspective than you did before. and you probably have funnier jokes now too. so that's me talking in circles about failure,which honestly i do a lot anyway just by myself on my own time. thank you for joining me this time though!if you wanna see more videos, definitely subscribe
and i will see you next time. bye :)
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